One More Thing: Voting for My Daughter
I guess I had a little bit more to say...
Have you ever had a moment where you finally are clear-headed and get all that you needed to say off your chest, only to find out that a few minutes later you missed a few points?
Yeah, me too. And that’s where One More Thing (or OMT for short) will come in organically week over week. They’ll usually come on Sundays, but this one needed a little extra time.
One of the reasons I timed a Substack return (with glorious trumpet fanfare) is that I often wonder if anyone truly needs to read what I have to say. In this very wild world, with wars, problems, inequities, and heartbreaking moments, does my voice add to the noise or provide a little bit more harmony (or dissonance) to the symphony?
As we approach tomorrow, Nov. 5 — yes, I know you’ve heard all about that day — I’m constantly muttering this question: Does my voice and vote matter? I hear others asking the same, no matter where they live or what district they’re planted. I’ve scratched hundreds of pieces of an essay to address this question on the back of napkins, my journal, and neon highlighter-yellow sticky notes.
I hesitate even to bring up politics here in our Substack space. I was trained as a communications pro that we don’t enter into politics unless we’re working for a campaign. It was a hazy gray line of separation between being able to represent clients who hold different views because the world needed (and needs) us to all work together. I’ve carried that separation into my writing as well.
That is until I became a mother.
Now, all bets are off.
I have an essay I’m trying to get published about hearing of the fall of Roe v. Wade in 2022 while 20 weeks pregnant with Evie and feeling her kick for the first time. When moments sweep up like that, you can’t brush it aside.
The personal is political.
Second-wave feminists bled it in the 1960s, and it’s even more true today.
Pieces of another essay float around my desk about being pregnant with Brendan as we worked to elect Hilary Clinton as the first female President in 2016, only to grieve as I watched the results roll in on our downstairs television. I’ve caught moments of myself experiencing some PTSD deja vu that comes in blips and vivid tense memories while watching this election unfold. You might have, too.
Have you felt the PTSD? I’d love to hear about your experience and how you’re taking care of yourself in the comments.
I’m not going to use this One More Thing - OMT - to share exactly who you should vote for. I have my own opinions, a sign in my front yard, and hats and shirts with that on display. More than anything else, I want to share why you should vote for someone other than yourself.
Here’s the thing: voting is a uniquely democratic process. It’s an imperfect system to keep our government running with checks and balances. In some ways, it’s inequitable due to redlining and other attempts to block or make it hard for marginalized people to cast their ballots. Yes, it needs to be overhauled, and I’d argue that it needs change from a system level and a personal level.
We often approach the voting booth with our personal agendas, privileges, and needs. We look up and down the ballot to see who has a D or an R by their name. We do limited research about how well we think they’ll serve us as individuals.
I challenge you to think about someone other than yourself and your needs as you walk into the voting booth.
A working single mom doing her best to get to and from work on public transportation and help her kid do homework each night.
A family who just lost a primary, good-paying job.
A woman in the 20+ weeks of pregnancy who just found out that her baby will have only a few hours to live due to a genetic abnormality.
A veteran who feels that the country he served isn’t the country that is serving him.
A person who is in significant medical debt or student debt on a system that isn’t helping them.
The public school teacher dishing out hundreds of dollars for school supplies - including ways to protect their students from gunfire.
An immigrant family who are so close to receiving their green cards actively weighing their options because they remembered the drain that the toxicity and vitriol of our country’s division took on the mental health of them and their two small children.
These are not hyperbole. These are people I know.
As I filled out my ballot (with the kids watching - yay civics lessons!), I voted on behalf of my family and the list of people above. I specifically looked at what was best for Evie and her friends. She currently has fewer rights as a girl than I did at her age - a fact that should astonish all of us - and yet, she and the rest of our children are our future. Whoever we vote for President will likely appoint one or two Supreme Court Justices - something that impacts her life for FAR longer than it will mine. Whoever we vote for state and city representation will have wide-reaching opportunities to bolster or cut educational spending, with the impact reverberating for decades.
My vote is not about me. My vote is for us. I believe in our nation. I believe we can uphold democracy. I believe we can make it better. To do that, we have to try.
Make a voting plan for Tuesday. Make a self-care and safety plan for the long road ahead to certification. Stay in line to cast your ballot. Above all, just vote.
Also, make sure you’re taking care of yourself and your emotional health while voting and watching the news these next few weeks. Rooting for all of us.
